Emotion (n) Any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes as increased heartbeat, respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.
That is the dictionary defintion of emotion.
To me, it's confusion; not being able to work out your feelings or thoughts. It's not knowing what to write; staring at a blank page for hours on end with nothing but your name at the top. It's that special smile that envelopes your face like no other smile can compare to. It's staring into someone's eyes, and feeling yourself fall so deeply, as your arms shake and your breath catches. It's spending time with people and having minutes pass by feeling like hours, or hours flying by like seconds. It's writing out everything that is in your heart, yet feeling like there is oh so much more to write. It's having the vague feeling of something where it tastes and feels so familiar, but seems so much more new each day. It's that jumble in your brain, a total mess of twisting and winding thoughts that makes sense in its own way. You just don't know what that is yet.
I hate emotions.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
snap.
I am getting pulled in so many different directions at the moment, and I can't take it.
It's taking its toll on me, and affecting the way I act.
They notice, oh, I know they definately do, but they don't even care. All they care about is being the one on top, no matter to the ones they have to step on and crush in the mean time.
I'm going to snap soon.
It's taking its toll on me, and affecting the way I act.
They notice, oh, I know they definately do, but they don't even care. All they care about is being the one on top, no matter to the ones they have to step on and crush in the mean time.
I'm going to snap soon.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Pretty Women (And Men)
[Be warned; this post shows how much of a walking contradiction I truly am.]
It's interesting how low some people's self esteem is. At least, to me it is.
I've got so many friends that think they are ugly or fat. But they aren't. Hell, one of my best friends has managed to convince herself that she's overweight. But dear god, she is not. She's a peeerfect weight but there's no changing her mind. She's unique, beautiful, hilarious, possibly insane, and has a perfect hour glass figure. But she sees herself as ugly and fat. I've spent nights texting her, boosting her self esteem because her bitchy sister has said something out of spite, or her mother has uncaringly said something mean. It makes me cry.
I just don't understand all those people that constantly put you down, that completely destroy who you are, ignore you and just ruin your life. These people tear you apart, and don't even care.
I met a girl at ballet once, and she said I was pretty. I just laughed and said politely, "Thank you! I think you're pretty too." She just responded "Oh, you're just being nice."
But the thing is, she was pretty. The kind of pretty that makes you feel like a lucky fool to even have her look at you, let alone talk to you.
This happens so many times, with both genders. Boys that don't think they're cute, girls that think they're fat, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, I've met many gorgeous people, only to find out that with some of them, that sort of beauty is only skin deep. But in a few of them, they were pretty all the way through. How sad that many of them don't stand a chance in the real world... After all, who wants to be pretty on the inside?
The answer, sadly, is no one. No one wants to be pretty on the inside. Because, if it's on the inside, who would see it?
The shallow ideals of this world have taken over our lives, and so many truly beautiful people become left out in the cold, killed socially and literally day after day.
It makes me so sad, to see all the destruction that happens merely because someone is insanely jealous, or angry with themselves and others.
Remember the old saying; "If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all,"?
That phrase makes me smile because of the truth in it. Every day, you have the opportunity to destroy someone, or make them the happiest person in the world. So why do people choose the former?
Is it because they are so miserable with their own image that they find a strange sort of courage in insulting and tearing down someone else? Or because they have a sadistic personality and do it merely for the thrill? Who knows?
These people though, are the ugly ones. They may physically be the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth, but inside they are shrivelled, black and weary. It makes me sick what some people are capable of doing.
But my opinion is that if you are overweight, or underweight, you are pretty. If you are disabled, you are pretty. If you are shy, you are pretty. If you can speak your mind without a care of what other people may think of you, then you are pretty.
I find that the truly pretty ones are always the ones who don't believe it themselves.
Sad, isn't it?
"Your hearts a mess, but you won't admit to it."
Hearts A Mess - Gotye
It's interesting how low some people's self esteem is. At least, to me it is.
I've got so many friends that think they are ugly or fat. But they aren't. Hell, one of my best friends has managed to convince herself that she's overweight. But dear god, she is not. She's a peeerfect weight but there's no changing her mind. She's unique, beautiful, hilarious, possibly insane, and has a perfect hour glass figure. But she sees herself as ugly and fat. I've spent nights texting her, boosting her self esteem because her bitchy sister has said something out of spite, or her mother has uncaringly said something mean. It makes me cry.
I just don't understand all those people that constantly put you down, that completely destroy who you are, ignore you and just ruin your life. These people tear you apart, and don't even care.
I met a girl at ballet once, and she said I was pretty. I just laughed and said politely, "Thank you! I think you're pretty too." She just responded "Oh, you're just being nice."
But the thing is, she was pretty. The kind of pretty that makes you feel like a lucky fool to even have her look at you, let alone talk to you.
This happens so many times, with both genders. Boys that don't think they're cute, girls that think they're fat, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, I've met many gorgeous people, only to find out that with some of them, that sort of beauty is only skin deep. But in a few of them, they were pretty all the way through. How sad that many of them don't stand a chance in the real world... After all, who wants to be pretty on the inside?
The answer, sadly, is no one. No one wants to be pretty on the inside. Because, if it's on the inside, who would see it?
The shallow ideals of this world have taken over our lives, and so many truly beautiful people become left out in the cold, killed socially and literally day after day.
It makes me so sad, to see all the destruction that happens merely because someone is insanely jealous, or angry with themselves and others.
Remember the old saying; "If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all,"?
That phrase makes me smile because of the truth in it. Every day, you have the opportunity to destroy someone, or make them the happiest person in the world. So why do people choose the former?
Is it because they are so miserable with their own image that they find a strange sort of courage in insulting and tearing down someone else? Or because they have a sadistic personality and do it merely for the thrill? Who knows?
These people though, are the ugly ones. They may physically be the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth, but inside they are shrivelled, black and weary. It makes me sick what some people are capable of doing.
But my opinion is that if you are overweight, or underweight, you are pretty. If you are disabled, you are pretty. If you are shy, you are pretty. If you can speak your mind without a care of what other people may think of you, then you are pretty.
I find that the truly pretty ones are always the ones who don't believe it themselves.
Sad, isn't it?
"Your hearts a mess, but you won't admit to it."
Hearts A Mess - Gotye
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